Lost my Post!

I just spent about 30 minutes working on my last post and I lost it ALL... and I can't stay behind and need to get home... big storm on it's way in... SO....

I'll repost tomorrow. Basically, I was answering the questions and sharing the award I picked up from Deb at Deb Will Be Thin!

For now, I want to thank all of you who have started following, commenting and encouraging me on the journey! I lost a few more pounds on this weight in and updated my tracker... Down over 6lbs! And I also added a weight-tracking list on the right hand side of my blog...

I need to get home but know that I savored every encouraging word you all left. I've read your blogs, too, as I subscribe to them through my blackberry. So I read updates daily, even if I can't get to internet to update my own blog.

Until tomorrow, God willing!

- Veronica

trigger foods

the last few months I've noticed something interesting; something that's been backed up by "scientific nutrition reports" everywhere... but I never believed them!

See, I used to drink Diet Coke like it was going out of style for the last five years.I could easily have been downing over 640z of Diet coke a day or more! There were days where I would wake up and know my day couldn't possibly start until I went to the corner store and picked up a 440z Diet Coke Thirst Buster drink.

Oh and I would justify. How I could justify! Not only did I drink Diet Coke, but I would also make sure I was drinking water. So I thought, "Hey, I'm getting in my water and Diet Coke is a 0 calorie drink! No worries there!"

Not only that, but I was hooked on coffee. You didn't want to mess with me until I had downed two coffees every morning.

Well, suddenly I grew the courage to REALLY quit it. I mean, there were days I stopped drinking Diet Coke and suffered through migraines... only to have it completely take over in my diet again. But I never gave up the coffee. I really thought it was a caffeine addiction, but truth be told, I do so much better off caffeine cause I'm anxiety prone.

I think I found out what it is/was that I was truly addicted to: artificial sweeteners! Whether Diet Coke or Splenda, there is something about them that I was/am absolutely addicted to! And they not only are really bad for you - I have found that they are actually a trigger for me.

They really DO make me crave more junk and carbs more than anything else I eat!

I can attest this to having been away from Diet Coke and coffee for over four months now. However, I recently started the occasional cup of joe (with a Splenda or NutraSweet) and no matter what artificial sweetener I used - I had the WORST case of munchies of my life every single one of those coffee days!

I've read it before that artificial sweeteners are known to trigger cravings for sweets & carbs, but I never realized how true it was or that even was true until recently.

I've had a great few days of good, healthy eating with my servings of fruits, veggies, lean meats and water...

But any time I either had coffee in the morning or Sugar-Free Iced Tea, which is another way of saying "SPLENDA FILLED ICED TEA", I have fought the most horrible cravings!!

One of my concerns is that I really enjoy the Weight Watchers yogurts for 1 POINT and can't find another with that value that doesn't have the artificial sweeteners. An yogurt cup without artificial sweeteners could easily be 3-4 or more points! Hmmmm.

Anyway, what about you? Have you noticed a correlation with your intake of artificial sweeteners and cravings for carbs/sweets?

Love and encouragement to each of you on this amazing journey we are on! I'm about to pack up and head home and I give you my word that I WILL NOT stop off for a donut to indulge in a sweet carb craving!

Hugs, Veronica

Quoting MsBC! Feeling Good NOW

I mentioned in the post before that I'm a follower of this cool lady, and something she said on her comment page in response to someone's question really hit me. Here's what she said:

"When I was 208 pounds (or 180 or whatever) and doing NOTHING to improve myself, it did not matter how many people told me I was beautiful - I had zero confidence. However, at 200 pounds or 175 or 145, when I am taking care of myself I radiate confidence. Just knowing I am doing the right thing makes me feel better - almost instantly - even before seeing physical results. It's when I know I am taking care of myself that I feel confident - and that was true of myself at every size. I hope that makes sense."

One of the reasons I love following blogs is I often find that the way people express themselves helps me in my process to do self-inventory and pinpoint how I'm feeling. I've written a lot of materials and used to love to write on blogs. But, over the years, as this one area of my life became something I stuffed deep within me, I seemed to have lost the words to express how I'm feeling about the struggle, the journey, the effort, myself, my view, my heart... Reading different blogs of people on similar journeys jars me and helps me articulate what I feel inside... Once I can pinpoint that, I can usually work towards a solution instead of turning to food. Knowing is half the battle. Amen? Amen.

Anyway, about what MsBC said up there.... How true is that?!

I can tell you that whenever I was in a season of a HEALTHY weight-loss process by watching what I was eating and moving/exercising - I always felt better. It didn't matter if I was still wearing the size 20 or dropped down to 18; I felt GOOD and confident.

That's the way it's supposed to be. I think that's why I admire so many bloggers I follow, this crowd of witnesses I'm conjouring up. Because they are in the process of caring about themselves and that joy & hope is contagious.

The last few days, "Just knowing I was dong the right thing" made me feel better instantaneously as well! It still does!

What a great "A-Ha!" moment....

I feel good about today's choices. I had breakfast, which is a struggle for me. I had my veggies and fruits in my meals and snacks as well as some lean protein. And I'm about to pack up and head home, with a contented stomach from the apple I just ate.

If I wait too long and am starving, I'll end up caving and eating something on the side of the road or something full of carbs and sweets once I get home.

What would I have changed today that I can apply tomorrow?

Stop the coffee intake. I was off caffeine for two months (HUGE victory) and it started creeping back into my diet the last few weeks as I've been traveling around the country training some teams getting ready to head to different countries...

Anyway, I just wanted to write a bit on here, thank those of you who are reading and following... and make Ms. BC's comment my goal:

FEEL GOOD NOW, FRIEND. LET'S FEEL GOOD ABOUT OURSELVES NOW. Not after the next ten or hundred pounds, but NOW. Because we are making steps in a direction we haven't before.

Here's to the journey!

PS Do you know where I can find those cool weight tickers/tracker things?

Well, if you found my blog it's because I probably commented on a few people's blogs or your blog. :0) Thanks for visiting! Almost everyone I have met and followed through fit-blogs and weight-loss blogs have become major heroes of mine!

I have to be straight up with you and anyone else who visits.

My line of work in ministry doesn't allow me to have such a public profile with my full name. So there will definitely be some mystery as to who I really am because I can't share my name and where I work. However, a couple of my readers will know who I am personally because they either know me and live life with me or knew me before I had to incognito. :0)

However, I can tell you my name is Veronica and I'm 30 years old. That's pretty much as far as I'll probably go on this blog regarding my identification. It's annoying to me, because I once had a very public and popular blog back in the Xanga/Blogger/WordPress emerging days.

But security is important not only for my sake but the sake of those I serve in countries around the world. :0) It's crazy that this is the kind of world we live in!

What else can I tell you?

I grew up overweight my entire life. I'm the middle child in five beautiful/handsome THIN and fit siblings and the daughter of two very beautiful, thin and fit people.

Why I came out different is somewhat but not really a mystery. Marred by premature birth and all sorts of ailments and lack of chemicals (according to tests run half my life), I've never had a very speedy metabolism. I struggle with losing weight and hardly sweat when I work out.

However, if truth be told: I'm addicted to food and have long used it as a medication for loneliness, sadness, frustration as well as a celebration when in joy, victory, relationship-building, etc.

The older I get, the more I step out of denial.

The more blogs I read of amazingly honest people, the more I realize that not only am I in denial, but I don't have to be the exception.

I don't have to be the exception to an entirely thin family.

I also don't have to be the exception of all the people who can and are losing weight.

I CAN BE HEALTHY.

I CAN LOSE WEIGHT.

I CAN.

I've teetered most of my 20's between 220 and 250.

I am currently weighing in at 244. Last month I weighed 232.

I've not been under 230 for about four years.

I've struggled with getting below that number for different reasons... the compliments and attention of others frightens me... and self sabotaging takes it's course quicker than I can get on a scale.

I want it to be different now. I've ready so many testimonies of people of faith like me and people who don't consider themselves believers in Christ.... but each of them is a testimony; and each of them has inspired me. God has used them.

So here I am... And I hope you'll be my blog-friend and join me on this journey. I'll probably post pics here and there and will try to be as real as I can be without jeopardizing the safety of those I serve.

I'm so looking forward to blogging again about life and this journey to lose all this weight and find the REAL ME inside that the rest of the world doesn't take time to notice underneath all the layers of fat.

Some shout outs to some of my favorite bloggers whom I have followed for a VERY long time:

DEB!!! - My friend and sister in Christ; a gift from God and fellow traveler on this journey to THIN and FREEDOM! :0)

KENZ!!! - YOU ARE SIMPLY AMAZING AND I HAVE LONG FOLLOWED YOU AND PRAYED FOR YOU! I'm so excited about this new journey you are on with Sean!

Sean! - I've followed this amazing, honest and HERO of a man for a VERY long time now. I'm in awe of what he's done and God has given me much courage through Sean's journey!

OKAY, SO I'm not a person who cusses, but I have no choice here:

B**** CAKES, YOU ROCK! :0) She's a fellow Weight Watchers girl and I love this gal.

FIXING MYSELF THINNER: Just look at the picture and enough said. She's amazing!

Goodness, I could go on with about 10 others that I follow faithfully, like

PriorFatGirl

TJ's Test Kitchen

The Big Girl Blog

Succeeding... Doing it For Me

Roni's Weigh

MizFitOnline

Jack Sh*t, Getting Fit

Fit to the Finish

and so many others...

Okay, I better get going and start commenting on some of these to let them know I'm out here.

Blessings

and losing the weight,

Veronica

******

I recently moved and have been looking for a church home. I visited a church this last weekend that I really liked and am thinking I will explore it some more.

There was a familiar verse the pastor used in the message that spoke wonders to me in the area of my weight-loss... almost as if though God was there whispering, "Let's do this.... You can do it. With me, you can do it!"

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down..." Hebrews 12:1

What's different this time?

Am I really doing this again?

Am I really going to start a blog about weight loss? About life change? About my broken heart and exhausted body?

This would be... my 4th or 5th... all of which I've had to stop because of identification issues.

My job doesn't allow me to have such a public profile on the internet. My real and full name isn't on my profile here with this blog.

I had to get a new email address so that people who may know me or my work organization can't google or find me....

Such lengths to get out there... out here in the net work... why? Why do I want to blog so bad even when others can't really know who I am out there?

Because of the blogs I read.
Because of the amazing people I have followed the last several months anonymously.
People like All The Weigh and Deb Will Be Free

People like .... so many out there.

It is happening for them.

And it's supposed to happen to me.

So here we go.